Sunday, September 6, 2009

More bad news

My daughter's cancer is spreading. To her liver and lungs. And ironically, the night before we got the report, Jess had been feeling a new kind of pain, intense, sharp on her right side. This pain is unbearable. How do we get through this next part of the journey? I feel the momentum of the Lord, this journey is going somewhere fast.
We went to my friend, Ann's house for girl game time. Jess is throwing up on the way. We get there, she's masking the pain. The newly increased drugs aren't working, but she finds a way to put it all aside for a few hours. She is witty and fun and it is a wonderful time out in their backyard, even though I keep winning our game. I love how she is determined to live well and find some joy in the midst of this.
At breakfast with Mark, she talks about being in love with and ready to see Jesus, {if all there is here for her is pain and suffering}. Yet pondering the alabaster box, feeling empty handed, what can she offer Him to pour at His feet? A girl with a revelation that takes my breath away.
Ahhhh, this is so much sometimes. have to just keep living life with this torn and tattered heart, yet know it is being held and loved by my Saviour. Ready for healing, though, for all of us.

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